[ some ] novels are like sausage

Apparently large numbers of professional novelists turn out three to four books per year.

Here’s an example: Hugh Howey talking about a book he hasn’t started yet

http://www.hughhowey.com/dust-august-17th/

In case any of you enterprising and impatient cats are searching Amazon occasionally, don’t flip out when you see the product page for DUST. It’s just a pre-order page. The book will release on August 17th, which gives me plenty of time to write it, have it edited, and get the physical edition proofed.

That means August 18th is the day I resume work on the next Molly book!

That’s 85 days.

In 85 days he’s going to write a novel, revise it, have a copy printed, read that, send it back, and have a print run produced and shipped to stores.

Let’s really compress the schedule of the proof-reading and production and call that JUST three weeks, or 21 days.

So now we know that Hugh is going to write a novel, start to finish, is 64 days, or 9 weeks.

Assuming he takes one day per week off, he’s going to work just 55 days to produce a novel.

I’ve got a rant that is, I suppose, a special sub-case of Sturgeon’s Law: 95% of novels are like magazines at the newsstand. They serve no particular purposes, they convey no particular information, they have no particular spark of life.

They exist to feed the endless conveyor belt, the belt that pours minimally-processed mediocre words into the mouths of the un-discerning reader who demands mediocre-grade entertainment.

Now, I’m not saying that Hugh Howey is mediocre. He’s got a rabid fan following, and that makes sense – he writes better than 95% of the people out there, his characterization is good, etc., etc., etc.

…but I strongly doubt that even Hugh Howey is going to turn out a necessary novel in 55 days.

There is nothing wrong with piece-work and doing a 10 hour shift in the factory. More mortgages have been paid and children fed by uninspired laboring in the mines or at the drill press or in the fields than by all the homes secured by artistic genius.

But we do need to realize that writing (all writing – novels, short stories, etc.) conforms to an 80/20 rule (except, perhaps, more like a 99/1 rule), where 99% of everything is crapped turned out under deadline to fill shelf space and 1% is truly a labor of love.

The next time an author tells you that he or she writes 3 or 4 novels a year, don’t cringe – all work, from spreading manure to changing tires to writing novels – is honorable work, and one should take pride in it. But realize that the output of the 4-novels-per-year author is more likely to resemble the output of the manure spreader or the tire changer than it is to resemble Dune or Player of Games or Fahrenheit 451 or Snow Crash.

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gravel boats

I’ve blogged this chapter at least once before. It’s one of my favorites.

Here it is, after the fourth draft.

=============

== 2064: Nan Garde, Haitian Dominican Protectorate, Earth

John looked at the team.

His team. It was a weird thought. He hadn’t commanded men in almost eight years.

The faces that looked back were serious, competent – and enthusiastic. They were all volunteers. There were some in the Boardroom Group, he knew, who didn’t understand or didn’t fully trust Dewitt and his men. The idea of Earth troops just switching sides made little sense to them. John, having been an officer in the US Army, understood perfectly. The men, like him, hated the PKs – and hated the way the alliance with them had corrupted the ideals of the Army, and of the United States. Or maybe it was the other way around? Maybe it was a corrupt United States, a withering of the ideals of freedom and independence that had lead to the stagnation of the Army and the alliance?

He looked at the men. He should say something. But what did one say to men who one was taking into battle against their so-recent allies?

What had George Washington said to his men when he’d taken command of the troops during the siege of Boston? How had he motivated the former loyal British subjects to open fire at their former countrymen?

John had no idea. So he gave and went with a joke. “Gentlemen, synchronize your watches.”

It fell flat. “Huh?”

“A joke – an old movie thing. Back in the day watches – they were like phones that just told time – weren’t synchronized.”

“Are you serious? What a fucking retarded system.”

“Yeah.” He shrugged. So much for his stand up career. “Anyway – everyone good to go?”

There were nods around the room. They stood as one. Like everyone else John grabbed his bag – a surprisingly heavy duffel bag – and heading out to the rented minivans. Even for the short walk to the vehicles they were dressed in their tourist clothes. Here on Earth there were eyes everywhere.

Their debit cards were real, but their IDs, carbon ration permits, travel vouchers – none of the rest of it would stand up to inspection if they were stopped. Which was why, in case they needed to bribe any local officials, they had pockets full of old fashioned paper money and food ration chits. Which were just as fake as the IDs.

John stepped inside the van and slid the door closed. Sargeant Lumus turned the vehicle on and drove. Behind them the other van pulled away, heading in a different direction.

* * *

Overhead the gravel boats continued their approach.

In gravel boat number one a timer counted off the millionths of a second since 1 January 1970 and then, at a preprogrammed time, gave an order. The AG drive sprang to life, braking some of the kinetic energy and storing it in the flywheel batteries – but not nearly as much as in the usual flight profile for an Earth reentry. The software had been hacked together out of off-the-shelf components: some of Darcy’s open-sourced navigation package here, a physics simulation engine originally from a game involving rabbits throwing pine-cones at each other there, an almost-century old GPS drivers bolted on the side thusly. But it worked. The drive sucked up enough velocity to exactly counterbalance the accelerating tug of gravity. That was key: hitting the atmosphere too fast would ruin everything.

The systems in the other gravel boats ran the same software and took the same actions.

A few moments after the AG drives turned on each boat started spitting puffs of nitrogen from cold-gas maneuvering rockets. One by one the boats finished their maneuvers – each was now oriented small-end downwards.

The nosecones welded to the leading edges of the cargo container boats were crude: the level of precision involved was only a bit greater than that achievable by a shade-tree mechanic banging a recalcitrant car hood into shape with a slap hammer and a leather bag of shot. The cones were fabricated from standard Aristillus deck planking – a steel alloy of no particular account refined in the solar furnace mills.

The nosecones of the gravel boats were laminated with a carbon phenolic sheets. The sheets had originally been brought to Aristillus by a motorcycle enthusiast who’d planned to use the carbon fiber to make “Manchurian style” street bike fairings. When he found more lucrative work in the atmosphere processing trade the sheets on ended up listed on moonlist.ari where they’d languished – until recently.

As the gravel boats – spaced out in a rough circle – entered the thermosphere the first few molecules of air started to impact the nosecones, but the density was so low that it would have taken specialized sensors to even detect it. Sensors that the boats did not have.

After a 400 kilometer fall through the thermosphere the boats entered the mesosphere, still punching downwards towards the rapidly growing Carribean ocean at almost Mach 30, dropping over 10 kilometers in height every second.

The air was still sparse enough that a human without a space suit would pass out immediately and die almost as quickly as on the surface of the moon, but there was just barely enough air that the maneuvering vanes at the rear of the boats began to click-click-click as they moved to fine tune their paths.

Ten seconds from ground.

The air around the boats grew in density. It ramped up rapidly. Now 0.001 atmospheres, now 0.01, now 0.1 atmospheres.

The hypersonic impact of the falling ships against the air was so powerful that the air itself began breaking apart. Ozone, molecular oxygen, water vapor, even triple bonded molecular nitrogen all shattered, throwing off a cascade of atoms, ions, and raw electrons.

Subtle luminous hints in front of each gravel boat soon grew and brightened, turning into fiery disks just millimeters in front of each nosecone. Inside each boat the software noted that the rate of successful radio packet transmissions had fallen from “six nines” to fifty percent, and then below a key threshold. The ionization blackout caused different subroutines to be loaded and executed. Each boat switched from GPS to inertial navigation. Ring laser gyros that had been designed fifty years previously, open sourced a quarter century ago, found in archives two weeks ago, and fabbed, tested, and installed a week previously now directed the gravel boats.

Seven seconds from ground.

The boats crossed the boundary between the meosphere and the stratosphere and the density of the atmosphere kept climbing – now up to 0.3 atmospheres.

On gravel boat number three – the one aimed for the southern-most guardhouse – a wrinkle in the hastily applied heat shield resulted in an uneven flow of superheated air over the nosecone. The uneven force force tugged on irregularity harder and harder and then in a millisecond tore a fingers-width of ablative panel away from the underlying metal.

With the carbon laminate gone the underlayment burned through nearly instantly. Once the underlayment was gone a pencil thin jet of 6,000 degree Kelvin ionized air began burning through the steel nosecone, quickly vaporizing the metal and contributing traces of lunar iron and to the emission lines of the blazing glow.

Six seconds from ground.

Once the superheated jet burned through the nosecone the destruction snowballed catastrophically. The hole in the heat-shield exploded from pencil sized to fist sized as the steel nosecone crumbled and the heat shield edged rolled into the hole. The rapidly growing hole created turbulence, which created drag, which caused the boat to lean to one side during its fiery descent.

Five seconds to ground.

Maneuvering vanes automatically fought to adjust boat number three’s angle, but they’d lost the battle before it began. The boat pitched sideways and started rolling. Air resistance and AG breaking had slowed the boats from Mach 30 to less than Mach 15, but even at that speed the intense heat of reentry was more than enough to weaken the ship. The gravel boat tumbled and cargo containers tore apart, throwing AG drive bits, half-melted container pieces and more than a ton of lunar gravel in all directions.

Three seconds to ground.

One large chunk of battery pack hit another gravel boat which was plunging through the atmosphere encased in its own pillar of fire. The battery pack tore away a maneuvering vane at the rear end. The second boat teetered and swam for a moment before righting itself and again riding its shield of fire down.

Another piece of debris, a large segment of cargo container wall, hit another, less lucky, boat. The thrown piece of wreckage sliced into the wall of the target boat before flying past. The cut was not surgical – it was rough and brutal. The edges were puckered and curled and immediately caught air. In seconds the third boat was torn apart by the far-hotter-than-a-blast-furnace ionized air.

One second to ground.

Piece of the third boat sprayed in all directions, heading at a half dozen sister ships.

But Before the propagating wave of destruction could continue, the process ended.

Traveling at many times the speed of sound the boats hit their targets.

Guardhouses three and four didn’t get their allocated deliveries, but the twelve other targets – everything from the armory, the main gate, the electric transformers, and the motor pool, down to the bridge that provided the shortest path from the barracks to the prisoner cells – took immense impacts. The energy delivered as each 160 ton container hit at Mach 15 was almost precisely a kiloton. The crisp equivalence to a measure of nuclear yields was an accident of math – fill a container that’s THIS long with an AG drive and associated hardware and then fill the rest with gravel, cancel its orbital velocity so that it falls towards the Earth from a height of 400 thousand kilometers, strip away a bit of the energy in the atmosphere, and what’s left just happens to be around four thousand thousand thousand Joules.

Whatever the math, the gravel boats struck like nuclear bombs. Small ones, to be sure – each only a sixteenth of the yield of the Little Boy device that had exploded over Hiroshima a hundred and twenty years earlier – but like nuclear bombs none-the-less.

John was prepared – as were the rest of the men.

But even behind his shaded goggles and earplugs John winced at the flash of light that seemed to come from all directions at once and which lit up the palm trees around him from a weird unnaturally low angle with a strange yellow-white light.

Before the flash had fully faded the ground wave hit and John was thrown to the ground. After a few seconds, when the rumbling stopped, Sergeant Harbert stood and brushed himself off. John followed, then pulled his goggles off and looked at the sky. Fourteen bright pillars connected the earth and the heavens. As he watched they began to fade from white to yellow to red.

A moment later the atmospheric shock wave blew past them. The palm trees around them shook and swayed and it seemed like the two or three car alarms that hadn’t already gone off behind them joined the tens of thousands that were already blaring.

Above them flocks of birds circled, confused.

John leaned into the wind, and checked his phone.

It confirmed what he already knew by heart – they had exactly one hour.

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free chapter: 40 kilometers above Aristillus

The background:

John and the Dogs have been hiking around the equator of the moon for six months. While they were on Farside Earth forces destroyed the relay sattelites in lunar orbit, thus cutting John off from Aristillus…and also cutting off the AI Gamma’s remote bases from each other. We have learned previously that when Gamma’s processing nodes are separated from each other each assumes that it is the full inheritor to the original Gamma…and acts to strike out against any impostors (i.e. other instances of Gamma).

After the relay sattelites were burned John and the Dogs made contact with an instance of Gamma in Zhukovskiy crater…and encountered two PK ships on a recon mission. Gamma shot the first ship down, but its nuclear scuttling charge was detonated, destroying the instance of Gamma in Zhukovskiy crater. The blast damaged, but did not destroy, the second PK ship. John and the Dogs realized that they were caught in the middle of a hot war and thus needed to get back to Aristillus ASAP. In order to accomplish this they looted materials from the second PK ship and built a small lifeboat. In the process they learned that the PKs are planning an invasion in the very near future.

We begin our chapter as John and the three Dogs fly over the north lunar pole and back to Aristillus.

chapter 105: 40 kilometers above Aristillus, Lunar Nearside

John held his breath as the north wall of Aristillus slid majestically beneath them. The colony was still almost 30 kilometers ahead, but even from this distance it was unmistakable. Glittering solar farms spread out across the city. Vast piles of mine tailings were stacked to the south and west. And even from this distance he thought he could make out the open pits of Lai Docks.

He was coming home.

Blue said “Altitude 40 klicks. Ramping down the AG.”

“Excellent.”

John could even see a small bit of Sinus Lunicus, just over the far wall of Aristillus. Suddenly something occurred to him. “Gamma, can you hear me?”

“John, is that you?”

John laughed. “Yes, it’s me!”

“You survived.”

“And so did you!”

“Part of me. John, I have an important question – did you get my last message? Did you get to Zhukovskiy Crater?”

Blue, on a separate channel, gave a status update. “Altitude 20 klicks. John, are you -”

“Blue, I’m talking to Gamma. You can take it in to Lai Docks on your own.”

John turned back to Gamma. “Yes, we got to Zhukovskiy, but -”

“How is the installation there?”

“The installation? You mean your installation?”

“Yes.”

“Uh – it’s destroyed. A PK ship nuked it.”

“I see. Good.”

“Good? Gamma, what are you – actually, let’s talk about this later. I need to call Mike Martin and tell him that there’s a PK invasion force coming.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t let you do that.”

John was taken aback. “What do you mean ‘can’t'? Gamma, this is important. I’m hanging up. I’ll talk to you -”

“John, if you had any communication with the Zhukovskiy facility it is possible that your suit software is corrupted. I can not risk direct data communications between you and anyone or anything at Aristillus.”

Blue said “Altitude 10 klicks.”

“Corrupted? Corrupted by who? The PK ship -”

“Corrupted by the Zhukovskiy fork of myself. I’ve explained partition spasms to you before. I am sorry but I must insist. I am taking control of your suit processors now.” A pause. “Duncan’s suit is not responding.”

“Gamma, I can’t believe that you’re doing this. I do NOT give you permission.”

“Why is Duncan’s suit not responding?”

“Duncan was killed by a PK. His suit is powered off. Now -”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Forget that – you do not have permission to mess with our suits.”

Blue called out in panic “John! The AG drive interface has disappeared!”

John snapped his head to face Blue. “What?”

“It’s gone! I can’t find it in my overlay!”

This was bad. Someone had to control the drive or they’d crash. John tried to call up the control screen in his overlay but it was missing. As he frantically paged through the menus the menu items themselves disappeared one at a time. Finally the overlay itself went blank and John was staring out at unfiltered, unaugmented reality. Damn it! They needed to rotate the lifeboat immediately and apply braking -

As if on command the lifeboat shuddered beneath him and began rotating.

“Blue! Did you get the controls back? I-”

It was Gamma who answered him. “No, John. I’ve taken control of your craft.”

John looked to his right at Blue. The Dog was gesturing – pointing to his helmet and waving his hands. No overlay. No coms.

“God damn it, Gamma!”

“Don’t be afraid, John. I’ll land you safely. I apologize that this was necessary, but -”

“This was NOT necessary!”

“You may not understand, but I assure you that it is.”

The lifeboat shuddered again and the rotation stopped.

John looked down at the surface. They were low now – really low. Perhaps just a kilometer over Aristillus – and they weren’t heading for Lai Docks. As if on cue Gamma said “I do not have communications with Lai Docks and Air Traffic Control, and even if I did, they probably would not want a ship contaminated with nuclear fallout to land there. There is a very large open area near airlock #912. I will set you down there.”

John’s anger was cold and unwavering. “Gamma, I need to talk to Mike Martin immediately.”

“I apologize John, but this is non-negotiable – and, at this point – not even possible. I’ve wiped out the software on your suits, with the exception of a minimal life support library in each of your systems and one small communications driver in your personal suit. I’ve also set auto-reformat countdown timers in each of them. Your suits will become entirely inoperative – ‘bricked’ – in five minutes.”

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Gravity, produced, co-edited and directed by Alfonso Cuarón

This looks amazing:

more

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the next big thing

So apparently all the cool writer kids are tagging each other with the “the next big thing” meme.

I’m an introvert with out any writing friends (well, except my girlfriend fiance…and she’s in a symmetric situation), so I’ll tag myself.

What is the working title of this book?

It started out as “The Powers of the Earth” (quoting the famous phrase from the Declaration of Independence, but also hinting at the central importance of anti-gravity in the narrative). When it grew too large to fit into one book, I split it. After some rough-and-tumble (i.e. friends criticizing my first dozen ideas), I named the second book “Causes of Separation”.

Where did the idea for the book come from?

A thousand places.

Reading (and re-reading…and re-re-reading) Heinlein’s “The Moon is a Harsh Mistress”.

A dream I had in 1993, soon after moving to Boston, where a man and a woman sat in a small diesel powered spaceship as it hovered over the surface of the moon.

Studying the history of the Icelandic Free State.

Tom Godwin’s “The Cold Equations”, John Ross’ “Unintended Consequences”, Vernor Vinges “Tines” and David Brin’s “Uplift” series, Leon Uris’ “Exodus”, James Blish, Ernest Callenbach’s “Ecotopia: The Notebooks and Reports of William Weston”, and hundreds more.

What genre does your book fall under?

Science fiction and libertarian fiction.

What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?

Well, the novel is utterly unfilmable. Almost 1,200 pages, four or so major plot threads, uplifted Dogs as major characters. No, couldn’t be done.

…but if the novel is re-discovered in 60 or 100 years and some Garage Kubrick wants to tackle it, and has the full range of actors from our age and earlier, via software emulation?

Even then, I think I’d prefer some unknowns. The characters are a bit larger than life, but they’re not more beautiful or more poised than life.

Mike is a bit of a Richard Branson character.

Darcy is off in the direction of Iron Man’s Pepper Potts, but not skinny or as graceful.

Ewoma is a precocious Nigerian girl with a huge smile.

General Restivo is a bit of a soulful Edward James Olmos type, but it would be impossible to cast EJO without bringing Battlestar parallels too close to the surface.

etc.

So, if I had to cast it, I’d pick some relative unknowns.

The one exception is Mike’s confidant and adviser Javier, who I pictured from the get-go as being played by Miguel Sandoval playing a similar character as he did in the NBC mini-series “Kingpin”.

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

A motley mix of libertarians on the moon fight the overarching welfare state using social media, open source software, market mechanisms, and guns.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?

First draft: 9 months. Second draft: 8 months. Third draft: 3 months. Fourth draft: in progress, but perhaps 6 months.

Who or what inspired you to write this book?

As Claire Wolfe said: “America is at that awkward stage. It’s too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards.”

What can one do in that awkward stage?

Write.

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chapter: John and the Dogs react to 2nd loss of sat coms

{{{*** 81: John

== 2064: Icarcus Crater, Lunar Farside

Duncan kneeled on the lunar graveled and rolled up the tent’s sun shield. John walked past him to where the solar bank sat. It had already folded itself into a bundle and John lifted it off the ground carried it towards the mules. As he passed Duncan a second time the Dog said “I don’t see what the big deal is – they burned Gamma’s satellites before and nothing happened. So now the peakers burned them again. So what? Why the big hurry?”

Max, who was doing lubrication maintenance on the mules turned away from the machines to face Duncan and John. Max growled and his tail stood up aggressively. “Didn’t you hear what Gamma said about the satellites over Farside?”

“Yeah, so?”

Behind them the tent deflated then gave three beeps as the electrostatic cleaning sequence finished. The memory wire poles started to fold the tent into a tight package.

Max shook his head “Earth can’t burn stuff that’s hidden from them. At least, not using weapons in Earth orbit. Something is going on. Something big.”

“Yeah, but – we were just about to have dinner. And tonight we’ve got apple pie for desert, so can’t we just eat and sleep first, then in the morning -”

Max barked at the younger Dog. “Gamma didn’t tell us “go about your business, everything’s great, I’ll have the sats back in a week.’” He slapped the ground in front of him with one fore paw to emphasize his point. “He told us to get to Zhukovskiy.”

Duncan shrugged. “OK, fine. We’ll go to Zhukovskiy. But I still don’t see what the rush is.”

John shook his head. Duncan was young – and naive. He was second generation, which meant that he’d been a pup when The Team had saved them all from the labs and smuggled them here. The second generation had heard the stories, but they didn’t remember them.

Not like Blue and Rex. They were first generation, and remembered the weeks before the final decision. The lab techs started becoming emotionally withdrawn, political advisers started visiting the facilities. The BuSuR investigation. The leaked plan. The older dogs – not just here, but back at Aristillus – took things more seriously. Each reacted to it differently – Max by being combative and angry, Blue by being introspective and wise beyond his years. John paused and looked at the two older Dogs. Both were tearing down the campsite with speed and determination. They understood that something important was going on. Duncan, though – he was arguing about apple pie.

John turned away from the Dogs and closed the mule’s locker door – or tried to. It bound and couldn’t close the last centimeter. He opened the door again and used the edge of one glove to wipe a bit of dust from the seal, then shut it a second time and felt the bolt snick home. He turned back to the Dogs and wondered – not for the first time – if he was right that most of the difference in temperament was because of age and experience, or if there was some hack in the DNA between the first and second generations. They had most of the records back at Aristillus, but with out trained gene techs the data was useless.

Duncan handed the rolled up sun shield to Max. “If you’re worried about resupply, you can relax – now that we’ve got four mules we’re good for a month or more. Besides, Darcy knows where we are now.”

“I told you already.”

“Huh?”

Max didn’t answer – his disgust was clear from his body language as he turned away.

Duncan called after him “Hey! That was a serious question!” but Max didn’t turn back.

John sighed. Max could be a dick. “Duncan – the first time the satellites got burned they were hit when they were over nearside. That implies earth-orbiting weapons – or, heck, maybe just ground based lasers somewhere. But this time Gamma told us just before we lost contact that the satellites were getting burned over Farside!”

“Uh…yeah?”

“If the satellites got hit when they weren’t in line of sight from Earth, then where are the weapons that they’re using?”

Duncan shrugged. “I dunno…where?”

John closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He understood how Max felt. Duncan was provably a genius, but sometimes it seemed like his brain just wasn’t in gear. He was probably still thinking about his idiotic game or something. “I don’t KNOW Duncan – and that’s the point! Doesn’t it concern you that not only are Earth governments attacking lunar assets for a SECOND time, but now they’re doing it via satellites or ships that are either in orbit around the moon or are somewhere further out and can look down at us?” John punctuated this with a finger jab upwards. “Imagine that you’re playing chess and when it’s your opponent’s turn, suddenly one of your pieces gets toppled…but you don’t know how he did it.” He had Duncan’s attention now so he pressed on. “You figure out that your opponent has somehow changed the rules and has invisible pieces -”

“Oh, that is cool! Have you ever played fairy chess? I mean, not like just skinning the pieces with fairies and trolls and stuff, but those other weird chess pieces like ‘riders’? Although, actually, it is cooler when your do it in AR and you have the skins! I downloaded this one skin from the archive once that was based on the Dragon Cycle universe -”

John closed his eyes. Jesus. He called up the interface and hesitated before adjusting the setting. If he did this he was being as bad as Max. He clicked commit – and muted Duncan. It was rude, but he just didn’t have the mental energy to deal with him now. Whatever. Duncan would pull his head out of his ass and understand the urgency or he wouldn’t.

But how was everyone else doing? John looked around. Blue and Rex had packed up the last of the miscellaneous equipment scattered around the site and were standing near the mules, ready to leave. Max was a dozen meters in front the mules, looking over his shoulder, waiting for the rest of them.

And Duncan? He was sitting on a rock, absentmindedly rubbing the spot on his space suit where John knew his gold coins were cached in an inside pocket.

John caught Max’s eye and tilted his head towards the horizon. Max nodded and started walking. Blue followed immediately and Rex a moment later. The mules stood from their crouches and pranced in place, waiting until the entire party was underway. John followed the Dogs and the mule clambered after him.

A few minutes later John felt his guilt over muting Duncan bubble to the surface. Duncan had probably noticed by now and deserved an apology for the slight. John switched Duncan’s channel back on – and caught the the Dog talking to him. “- so if you ask me, ALL of the Night Riders are pretty cool, but the Ork King is the best. But here’s my new idea – putting in the cannon piece from Xiangqi – that’s Chinese Chess. THAT would be awesome. Battle Arena, which is a FPS with puzzles to unlock gun features. Have you ever played that?”

John blinked. “Ah, no, I haven’t played that.”

“Well, that’s OK. What I really want to talk about is the march East to Mordor today. My lembas supply is low, so I was thinking of hunting, but the HobDog racial skills don’t apply in this terrain, so I thought -”

John excused himself from the conversation – he’d had more than enough talk about games over the last few months.

He felt a weird jumped up energy – he knew they were in the shit, but he didn’t know what was going on, and there was nothing to do about it. He was restless and edgy and wanted to take some action. Hopefully when they reached Zhukovskiy – where, presumably, Gamma had yet another secret installation – they’d learn more.

In the mean time, he felt the urge to talk, to distract himself from a situation he could do nothing about.

Who should he talk to? Max? No – that’d be the furthest thing from distraction. Apocalyptic predictions, ranting – no.

Blue? Melancholic, pensive – another no.

He placed a call. “Hey, Rex, you have anything to talk about that’s not gaming related?”

Rex sighed. “Oh, I don’t want to talk about the game!”.

“Getting sick of it?”

On the in-helmet camera Rex looked at John as if he was daft, his big brown eyes expressing dismay. “What? No. It’s just – what’s the point of getting enthusiastic about the game now that we’ve lost coms again? I’ve got NO idea what’s going on in the discussion forums. What are the futures markets doing? I had 30k riding on the battles today, and another 15k in side wagers. But the way the contracts are written, I might lose it all. It depends if one of the volunteer AR game administrators tries to spin the communication blackout as a plot development. If the narrative fragments, and I win a battle here, but my avatar loses a battle in the mainstream branch of the game, then when we’re back in touch that’s got to be retconned in. And you know what that means.”

“Uh…what? No, I don’t.”

“It goes up for a vote! And what happens if the vote goes against us? Then the mainstream branch wins, and whatever the battle results are there is canonical – unless we go to arbitration!”

Rex ended the with a sigh, as if the insanity of such an idea was self-evident.

John nodded. “Uh – uh-huh.”

Rex took this as encouragement and continued “…and so here I am, just flipping back and forth between overlays and comparing the Misty Mountains up ahead with the actual terrain, and wishing that I had connectivity!”

John flipped to the Dog’s gaming overlay. That line of mountains up ahead must be the Misty Mountains Rex was talking about. Whatever. He flipped back to his regular forest overlay and walked through that environment for a while, then, in the end, switched to a real view of the actual lunar terrain. He let his eyes slide up, beyond the boulders, up beyond the crater wall, to the black sky overhead.

What was going on?

What was up there?

}}}

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sample chapter: John learns about the augmented reality game

Here’s draft 4 of chapter 76 where John learns about the augmented reality game.

This is a fun little scene where we take a break from the constant stress that we’ve been under in the John-and-the-Dogs thread (losing the sattelites, finding a strange facility, wondering if Gamma is going rogue) and instead indulge in a bit of levity revolving around an augmented reality MMORPG game. It also sets up two bits where the pay off comes way later:

  • the Dogs are making money, and are on their way to being rich
  • augmented reality can make other people look like anything – Hobbits, Orcs, and so on.

== 2064: Icarcus Crater, Lunar Nearside

The morning sun was low on the horizon and cast long shadows across. The oak trees were thick and dense, the way they had been for the last two days. John turned sideways to squeeze between two of them and then, after straightening again, saw that the dirt trail petered out in fallen leaves and needles just a few meters further.

He cursed and switched off the forest overlay. John squinted against the sudden glare. The sun was still low on the horizon and black shadows still stretched towards him, but the oak trees were replaced with boulders and other ejecta and the way forward seemed blocked.

Days like today – right after sunrise – were the worst of the 28 day cycle because of the glare and deep shadows, and the rapid cycling of the suit environmental system as he moved from one to the other. In another day or two the sun would be up high enough to make hiking easier. And around the same time they’d get past this debris field and the footing would be better too. He was looking forward to it – his mood would improve with out the constant irritations of the poor lighting and the rough hiking. Well, he’d still have to worry about Gamma, and how he was going to share his concerns with Mike.

Maybe the best thing to do would be to end the hike earlier, catch a ride back on the next supply ship, and discuss it in person? The Dogs would be upset – they were having the time of their lives. Maybe just a brief jaunt back, and then return to the hike? But how would be explain that to Gamma?

John blew air out of his cheeks. He had a week to decide before the next supply drop. Now, though, he needed to figure out how to get out of this maze of rocks. He switched to the navigation overlay. The blue path bifurcated again and again, each branch fainter than the last. Shit.

John took the opportunity to bench forward and touch his toes – or as close as he could come in the suit – and felt his back loosen and stretch. Standing up straight he looked around. Where were the Dogs anyway? He craned his head but didn’t see them anywh – ah, there they were. They’d taken a different parallel path and were downhill to his right. He squeezed between two boulders, started to slip on some scree, and caught himself after a short slide. Damn it. He straightened and picked a new route down the slope.

Ahead of him the Dogs apparently didn’t share his frustration with the boulders and the treacherous footing – they were running in circles, wagging their tales and seeming to be having a great time.

There were advantages to being a quadruped, it seemed. But what were they so worked up about?

John switched over to their channel.

“That’s the last of them – check the bodies for loot!”

He sighed and clicked over to the MMORPG overlay, then spent ten seconds dismissing dozens of alerts about status, health, and the need to “level up”. After they were gone he looked around – he was standing in a dripping cancerous forest, and the Dogs were replaced by short cloaked creatures with swords. John looked at them curiously then shook his head. Big feet, fur covered snouts. At their feet there were four dead creatures, lightly armored in leather, green skinned and tusked. Behind them the four mules were replaced with four ponies, loaded down with saddle bags and cargo.

John shook his head, switched back to the Pacific Northwest overlay and was just queuing up some music when Duncan pinged him.

“Hey, Duncan. What’s up?”

“Just taking a break from the game”.

“I can’t believe I’m asking this, but what exactly is it that you’re playing?”

“We’re a band of Hobbits. Well, not really – Max says that pretending to be primates is demeaning. So Rex hacked some race stats for HobDogs. Ah, and also Blue isn’t a HobDog; he’s a thousand year old shape-shifting wizard named Snorri the Grey. We’re crossing Mirkwood -”

John cut him off. “OK, I get it. So the four of you are running around fighting monsters simulated by your helmets?”

“Well, the five of us. You’re a descendant of an ancient king, but your second cousin is destined to the throne. We just killed a band of half-orcs.”

John looked at the dead bodies. “So you’re running around fighting against computer generated monsters.” He paused. “Huh.”

“They’re not computer generated. Well, I mean, SOME of the monsters are NPCs, but now that the satellites are back up, most of them are PCs.”

“English, Duncan.”

“Most of the monsters – and most of the allies, and the townspeople, and the elves – are player characters.”

John gave Duncan a quizzical look. “I still don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

“Most of them are played by other people.”

John raised his eyebrows. “Other people? Are you telling me that folks back at ARISTILLUS are plugged into this game?”

“A few – but mostly it’s Earth players.”

John blinked. “People on Earth are volunteering to run characters in your game?”

“Oh, no. That’d be crazy.”

John exhaled and smiled. There. Finally. At least a SMALL bit of this conversation made sense.

Duncan continued “We charge them!”

John blinked. “You – wait. You’re CHARGING people to pretend to be monsters that appear only in your helmets? On the moon?” He paused. “People PAY for that?”

“Why would we let them play for free if we can charge them?”

John made it to the bottom of the slope and caught up with the Dogs, then walked with them in silence for a few minutes. A question occurred to him. “How much?”

“How much do we charge them? I don’t know. The price fluctuates. It’s an auction.”

“Why, with all the online games back on Earth, why is anyone paying to play a game that has you four dancing around on the moon.”

“Novelty, I guess. Well, and, of course, the fact that we might actually die.”

John’s eyebrows rose. “You mean your characters might die in the game?”

John saw Duncan roll his eyes over the in-helmet camera. The gesture didn’t have quite the same effect without a human’s white sclera to accentuate the movement, but it still conveyed a meaning. “I think it’s the fact that we might actually die out here on the surface that has the fans excited.”

John digested that for a moment, then went back to an earlier question. “I understand that the price fluctuates, but – roughly – how much are you making? Should I be charging you for my guide services out here?”. John grinned at his joke.

“A few thousand -”

John’s curse or surprise meant that he didn’t hear the Duncan’s next few words.

” – per month, but we’re making most of our money off of the betting market.”

“Betting market? What are you talkin-”

“Hey, John, hang on. Max says that Snorri the Grey is about to cast a light spell and I’ve got to join in on this combat or he’s going to dock me some shares. I’ll talk later, okay?”

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YA novels, YA spin offs

SF author Rahul Kanakia writes

http://blotter-paper.com/2013/04/19/thinking-about-moving-away-from-writing-novel-length-adult-science-fiction-and-fantasy

…more and more like the idea of being a YA [ science fiction ] writer. The field feels a bit more active (although these things can change pretty quickly). But it also feels a bit more accepting. YA novels can have a number of different structures and plots and types of conflict.

SF, on the other hand, feels like it’s very limited to the standard adventure plot. Even very sophisticated and high-concept SF (stuff like the work of Brian Francis Slattery or Jeff Vandermeer or Cory Doctorow) kind of has these adventure plots. And I feel like I’m a bit over that. The part of the story that I’m most interested in is the rest of it: the situations, the characters, the settings—I resent every page that I have to waste on action scenes…

While I don’t dislike action and adventure, I think that Rahul is right that YA fantasy and science fiction is more active an experimental than adult F & SF right now.

I’ve got some thoughts about writing YA SF at some point; I like the universe I’m building for my two adult SF novels, but one character that I’ve really fallen in love with is a minor one: Ewoma, a 12 year old Nigerian girl who works with her folks in a small restaurant in the Aristillus moon colony. She’s sharp as a tack, brave, and likes being useful.

After I finish the two core novels, I’d like to work up a YA novel featuring her.

…and I should also add that I think the smaller wordcount of YA novels would be a win for me: the huge sprawling 270k word series I’ve been working for 2.3 years is exhausting. Limiting myself to 60-80k words would be nice.

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new scene from book 1, Act 1: Darcy is a private person

A quick refresher. Modern narrative theory says that all books have three acts:

  • Act 1: introduce the characters, make the conflict clear
  • Act 2: the hero faces greater and greater obstacles as he tries to resolve the conflict
  • Act 3: the final battle, the hero wins (or loses), and all the loose ends are tied up

A book usually divides its pages 20% / 60% / 20%, or something like that… which means that Act 2 runs the risk of being mammoth in proportion to the other two acts.

Thus, some folks say that a better way to break things up is

  • Act 1: introduce the characters, make the conflict clear
  • Act 2-A: the hero faces greater and greater obstacles, leading up to the first “boss fight” (metaphorically speaking)
  • Act 2-B: the tenor is even more serious as things head into the ultimate conflict
  • Act 3: the final battle, the hero wins (or loses), and all the loose ends are tied up

Given that my story is spread across two books, my division looks like this:

Book 1: The Powers of the Earth

  • Act 1: introduce the characters, make the conflict clear
  • Act 2-A: the invasion from Earth is coming – and arrives on the very last page

Book 2: Causes of Separation

  • Act 2-B: the first invasion is fought off, but now everyone is committed, and the second invasion is going to be far, far worse
  • Act 3: the final battle, then all the loose ends are tied up

    About a month ago I started on the fourth draft. Today I finished Act 1.

    Recall that the purpose of Act 1 is to introduce everyone and make all the conflicts clear…but it’s also to hook the reader. This is tricky – you simultaneously have to do lots of information dumps (at least, if you’re writing a sprawling 270,000 word epic with a really convoluted fictional world), and you have to move things along quickly – the bodies have to start hitting the floor.

    At this point, most readers here have read previous drafts, so it’s not a huge spoiler to note that Act 1 culminates in Earth forces using satellite energy weapons to destroy lunar satellites.

    Here’s the complete scene list for Act 1:

    1. Mike and Javier at range
    2. White House: president v Linda Haig
    3. Allan goes rock climbing
    4. Dogs/ Gamma intro
    5. President / Restivo
    6. Hugh
    7. Leroy talks to Dad
    8. Restivo to Florida
    9. Mike notes tunnel breakthrough
    10. Mike talks to Kevin
    11. Mike meets with Bao after Kevin failure, meets Ewoma
    12. Mike learns about Hugh Haig
    13. another scene with Linda Haig
    14. Darren talks to advisor
    15. Darcy talks about Mike
    16. Dogs lose signal
    17. Dogs investigate signal loss

    Note that scene third from the end: Darcy talks about Mike.

    The goals of this scene:

    • lay the groundwork to explain Mike and Darcy’s relationship – and set up the small dollop of romance-novel type conflict there
    • make it clear that Darcy is personally conservative and doesn’t want to blab about her personal life
    • make it clear that Darcy is a professional, so we’re not surprised later when she does great work
    • make Waseem sympathetic and human so that when he’s in peril later we care.

    So, with all of that said, here’s a new never-before-read scene (because I just wrote it this morning):

    === 2064: Lai Docks, Bay Four

    Darcy held the railing of the platform as the overhead crane carried it over the empty concrete floor of the dock. The dinged, marked deck of the Wookie slid beneath, then the forward motion ceased. After a pause the platform was lowered slowly. Darcy tapped her fingers impatiently on the railing until the platform hit the deck with a muffled thud and the cables above went slack. After unclipping the chain she stepped onto the deck and walked to the castle where both doors were open. A moment later she walked into the bridge – and saw that the lights were already on.

    “Waseem – you’re here early.”

    “Oh, hi Darcy. Yeah, I started the recalibration run.”

    Darcy was flummoxed for a moment. “Oh – well, then there’s nothing for me to do until it’s done. How much longer?”

    Waseem looked at his screen. “Maybe another ten minutes.”

    Darcy shrugged, sat down at her console, and surfed to SurfaceMining.ari.

    Darcy felt a brief hum run through the ship as the AG drives spun, then it dropped off. A moment later the hum returned, then again dropped off.

    Waseem typed something at his keyboard, then leaned back in his chair. “The cal run should take care of itself for a few minutes.”

    Darcy saw that the disagreement between Fournier and Mike had reache the front page. Crap. Mike was going to be in a bad mood. “Mmm-hmm.”

    Waseem craned his neck to look at Darcy’s screen. “Oh, yeah, I read that. That story makes no sense. Mike wouldn’t try to steal Fournier’s space, would he?”

    “No.”

    “So what -”

    “I probably shouldn’t speculate.”

    Wasseem took the hint and let the conversation drop. Thank goodness. Waseem was a nice kid, but -

    “So how long have you been dating Mike.”

    Darcy tried not to roll her eyes. Maybe if she answered one or two questions he’d let it go. “Six years.”

    “He must be really cool. I mean, escaping, founding Aristillus, digging all those -”

    “Cool?” Darcy suppressed a laugh. “No, Mike’s not exactly what you’d call cool.”

    Waseem looked disappointed. She realized that Mike must be a sort of hero the poor kid. She took pity on him and opened up a little. “Mike’s not cool. He’s more…effective. That’s not quite the right word, but – yeah – Mike is effective.”

    Waseem seemed downcast. “Effective?”

    Darcy sighed. “Have you seen any interviews?”

    “Just the one. Mike doesn’t – ”

    “Yeah, I know. He doesn’t give interviews because he’s not ‘cool’. He’s got his own interests, and explaining himself to others – heck, WORKING with others – isn’t one of them.”

    “So you like Mike because he’s effective?”

    Darcy looked at Waseem quizzically. “No. I like Mike because … well, because he’s a force of nature, I guess.”

    “I know what you mean. I’ve met a few CEOs back on Earth. Like Steve Bowser, of Transportation Solu-”

    Darcy shook his head. “No, Mike is nothing like Steve Bowser.”

    “But the forcefulness -”

    “When Bowser was arrested in the CEO Trials he turned state’s witness and gave false testimony about other railroad firm execs. That’s how he got his job. Mike would never do something like that.” She paused. “He DIDN’T do anything like that.”

    Waseem nodded. “Cool. Yeah, I read about that.” He paused. “So, would you say that you and Mike -”

    Darcy put on a polite smile. “You know, Waseem? Mike and I really don’t like to talk about our personal lives. You understand, don’t you?”

    Waseem was suddenly embarrassed and backpedaled. “Oh, of course. Sure.” He looked down, then back up. “Sorry.”

    “No, no problem. No harm done.” She tried to give him another smile, a little warmer, to take a bit of the sting out of it, then turned back conspicuously to the console. She saw the page of SurfaceMining.ari that had started this whole conversation sitting there in her browser. She clicked a bookmark and went to Earth news website. There was the normal few seconds of lag, but then the icon kept spinning. The page wasn’t loading. She clicked refresh and got the same result.

    Hmmm. She turned away from her console. “How’s that calibration coming?”

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    four revisions is too many?

    Looks like folks disagree with my thoughts on how many revisions are necessary:

    http://accordingtohoyt.com/2013/04/02/3934/#comment-67095

    TJIC: …I’m on my fourth draft…

    kilteDave: Fourth draft? Out of curiosity, have you had anyone else read through your manuscript?

    TJIC: Yes, I’ve had several friends do beta reads. Most thought that draft 2 was solid. I know that four might sound excessive, but there’s a lot to learn about characterization and plotting a novel, and I’m convinced that the work to date has been worth it. When revision stops helping, I’ll stop revising.

    Sarah Hoyt: Be careful. You can kill a novel by over-revising

    That’s OK. I’m confident that I’m improving the book with every pass.

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