Typo and bug reports go here

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41 Responses to Typo and bug reports go here

  1. Travis J I Corcoran says:

    MLP writes: Sgt Morioka got killed w wrench change 52, yet appears later

  2. HW says:

    “Leroy interrupted. Any why not?”
    ca 7% in

    Leroy on phone with father asking for capital

  3. Larry says:

    == The Team ==

    “Sargent John Hayes” -> “Sergeant John Hayes”

    “Oh, come on LT.” I think there’s a missing line of dialogue from the lieutenant right before this.

    “CalTech” is typically written “Caltech” and is far from Palo Alto. Perhaps Stanford was intended?

    “smashed it’s battering ram” -> “its”

    “even if they got” rest of sentence is missing

    == Powers of the Earth ==

    Ch 3: “Berkley” -> “Berkeley”

    Ch 6: “Alan nodded” -> “Allan” and similarly in 5 or 6 other places

    Ch 9: When the long chapter subheading wraps on my reader (iBooks for MacOS and iOS) the first few characters on the wrapped portion are not visible.

    Ch. 10: “Make shook his head” -> “Mike”

    Ch. 23: “Max met John’s gave” -> “gaze”

    Ch. 37: “another voting block” -> “voting bloc”

    Ch. 50: “respond to the inevitable attack .” has a space before the period.

    Ch. 55: “Wdookkiee” -> “Wookkiee”

    Ch. 61 “This is a war.” needs a close quote

    Ch. 66: “A principal?” -> “principle”

    Ch. 67: “Next think you know” -> “thing”

    Ch. 73: “working it’s way” -> “its”

    Ch. 75: “were cut they too thin” -> “were they cut”

    Ch. 77: “he was’t” -> “wasn’t”

    Ch. 81: “watched young five Mexican” -> “watched five young”

    Not necessarily bugs:

    Ch 8: “mirroring his own earlier scan” seems to refer to Restivo’s earlier scan, not Dewitt’s.

    Ch 52: Three consecutive paragraphs start with “Larry [verb]ed”

    Ch. 67: “Las Ang-“ -> “Los” perhaps, assuming the reference was to Los Angeles?

  4. Travis J I Corcoran says:

    Tim Oren writes:

    Report spam
    Power of the Earth errata:
    Location : Edit
    514 I cam make it -> I can make it
    1430 added another another feature -> added another feature
    5325 doctor’s note that says say -> doctor’s note that says
    6436 her sparing partner -> her sparring partner
    8823 AG breaking is at -> AG braking is at
    9654: bottom of the earth moving -> bottom of the earthmover

  5. Larry says:

    == Powers of the Earth ==

    Dramatis Personae: “President Themba Johson” -> “Johnson”

    Ch 66: “Konstantinov Crater, Lunar Nearside” -> “Farside” and similarly in Ch 74, 84, 89, 94, 95, 98, 102, 105, 107, 109, 110, 112, 114, and Ch 192 of “Causes of Separation”

    Ch 84: “Icarcus Crater” -> “Icarus” and similarly in Ch 89, 92.

    Ch 93: “having beers with captains in the Mark Soldner’s and Rob Wehrmann’s units” -> delete ‘the’

    Ch 94: The audio replay from Ch 41 has slight differences in text and has what appears to be extraneous spaces added. The version in Ch 41 seems more polished.

    Ch 95: “Jon” -> “John”

    Ch 97: “relays rovers” -> “relay rovers”

    Ch 97: “a peak over the boulder” -> “peek”

    Ch 97: “still floating a above” -> “still floating above”

    Ch 97: “pick off them off” -> “pick them off”

    Ch 102: “Blue target him with the com laser” -> “targeted”

    Ch 102: “Blue looked at Duncan to Max” -> “Duncan and Max”?

    Ch 102: “his last action bad been” -> “had”

    Not necessarily a bug:

    Ch 98: “fubared” used twice within 3 paragraphs

  6. Tim Oren says:

    Causes of Separation errata (location approximate, always before edit)

    Location : Edit

    1509, 2990 Melaine -> Melanie? (consistency)
    1932 others, like, you -> others, like you,
    2018 Airlock -> Aristillus
    3949 an ‘Burning Man art car’ -> a ‘Burning Man art car’
    4127 it is you you who -> it is you who
    4236 before desert was served -> before dessert was served
    4658 changed two two meters -> changed to two meters
    5463 you like like hell -> you look like hell
    5570 blame this one me -> blame this on me
    6403 a dayoh, ago. -> a day ago.
    7044 in the surrounding the tunnels -> in the surrounding tunnels
    7174 That tactic that had worked -> That tactic had worked
    9442 rescued nearly a million (continuity, inconsistent with other counts)
    9506 andwalked -> and walked
    9679 T is what-> That is what

  7. Larry says:

    == Powers of the Earth ==

    Ch 110: “view of the chainguns”. “chain gun” and “chaingun” are both used in the text. Suggest using one or the other. Also 1 instance in “Causes of Separation”

    Ch 110: “melting and runing” -> “running”

    Ch 110: “which had in turn had” -> “which had in turn”

    Ch 110: “seen front the ground” -> “seen from the ground”

    Ch 110:“keeping the disconnect box keeping” -> “keeping the disconnect box”

    Ch 110:“honestly going to that” -> “honestly going to say that”

    Ch 110: “It’s not even ‘kill.’ It’s ‘destroy’.” One has period inside quote, the other outside.

    Ch 112: “more than enough to than enough to” -> “more than enough to”

    Ch 114: “junctions reenforced” -> “junctions reinforced”

    Ch 114: “got to Aristillus in half an hour there’d be more work…” The previous sentence says they had nothing to do for more than an hour.

    Ch 115: “duffel bas” -> “duffel bags”

    Ch 117: “cylindrical packed of bearing clusters” -> Not sure if ‘of’ belongs in there or should be removed.

    Ch 117: “power lines would sheer” -> “power lines would shear”

    Ch 121: “500 new jobs in her district” -> perhaps “her state” or “Maryland”?

    Not necessarily a bug:

    Ch 110: “for a solid meter.” The word “solid” is used to describe lengths 2x in this one sentence

    Ch 115: “public key/ private key” has a space after the slash but not before.

    Ch 121: “super- high-definition” Potentially extra space after the first hyphen

  8. Travis J I Corcoran says:

    Globular Balloon writes:

    Should be “Kevin struggled not to lose his cool”, no?

  9. globularballoon says:

    “Tudel actuall sounded a bit scared when he asked, “How are you going to do that?”

    missing a ‘y’ in ‘actually’

  10. Larry says:

    Powers of the Earth Ch 1: “propped up on small mountain” -> “propped up on a small mountain”

  11. HW says:

    Beginning of chapter 33, “had hadn’t”

  12. gb says:

    Ch. 55: “No, it would be stupid to do run for it. The safe thing would be to surrender.”

    strike “do”

  13. gb says:

    Ch. 55

    “We don’t have any troops,” Mike bluffed. “All the Wdookkiee hijackers died when we blew the airlock.”

  14. Larry says:

    == Causes of Separation ==

    Ch 4: “gray lunar plane” -> I think “plain” may have been intended.

    Ch 4: “theairlolk” -> “the airlock”

    Ch 4: “lock 912” -> usage elsewhere is “lock #912”

    Ch 5: “getting to their feat” -> “getting to their feet”

  15. Larry says:

    == Causes of Separation ==

    Ch 4: “theairlock” -> “the airlock” (my previous reply had “theairlock” autocorrected to “theairlolk”)

    Ch 10: “!Mierda!” -> “¡Mierda!” (inverted exclamation mark) was probably meant

    Ch 12: “They convoy was heading” -> “The convoy was heading”

  16. HW says:

    “Setting” of Chapter 54 (bold text at beginning of chapter)
    wookkiee should be capitalized

  17. Larry says:

    == The Team ==

    “tells me that that Mike has” -> “tells me that Mike has”

    “asked me to to do” -> “asked me to do”

    “got fins one one end.” -> “got fins on one end.”

    == Powers of the Earth ==

    Ch 1: “Would she able able to see it” -> “Would she be able to see it”

    Ch 3: “and Louisa and and taken her” -> “and Louisa and taken her”

    Ch 16: “Mike looked looked” -> “Mike looked”

    Ch 16: “which made made” -> “which made”

    Ch 16 : “he’d been been infatuated” -> “he’d been infatuated”

    Ch 18: “one of his his direct reports” -> “one of his direct reports” (note: one ‘his’ in italics)

    Ch 20: “felt the the sword” -> “felt the sword”

    Ch 23: “we’re the the ones” -> “we’re the ones”

    Ch 28: “told them them” -> “told them”

    Ch 30: “It turns out that that” -> “It turns out that”

    Ch 33: “she was was named” -> “she was named”

    Ch 37: “I bet they they had” -> “I bet they had”

    Ch 37: “Why did you you move” -> “Why did you you move”

    Ch 42: “here there there was no gravity” -> “here there was no gravity”

    Ch 43: “low over over the northern horizon” -> “low over the northern horizon”

    Ch 44: “look at the the timer” -> “look at the timer”

    Ch 46: “tunnel on this this side” -> “tunnel on this side”

    Ch 49: “shock wave of of extruded” -> “shock wave of extruded”

    Ch 49: “Darcy into into her chair” -> “Darcy into her chair”

    Ch 50: “members of the the first team” -> “members of the first team”

    Ch 55: “it it was hard to speak” -> “it was hard to speak”

    Ch 55: “saw that the the PKs” -> “saw that the PKs”

    Ch 55: “ran toward the the PKs.” -> “ran toward the PKs.”

    Ch 57: “the the Earth governments” -> “the Earth governments”

    Ch 60: “looked at his his drink” -> “looked at his drink”

    Ch 67: “scrubbing toilets that that” -> “scrubbing toilets than that”

    Ch 67: “She thought that that” -> “She thought that”

    Ch 71: “It looked like like” -> “It looked like”

    Ch 71: “The casino said said” -> “The casino said”

    Ch 73: “but that that shouldn’t be a problem.” -> “but that shouldn’t be a problem.”

    Ch 74: “front page at at” -> “front page at”

    Ch 74: “How did you you update” -> “How did you update”

    Ch 74: “search more more inspiration” -> “search for more inspiration”?

    Ch 77: “there was the the icon” -> “there was the icon”

    Ch 77: “laws and and violating” -> “laws and violating”

    Ch 80: “two months ago the the NSA” -> “two months ago the NSA”

    Ch 81: “wasn’t going going to get violent” -> “wasn’t going to get violent”

    Ch 83: “Hugh and and his” -> “Hugh and his”

    Ch 89: “by the the government’s” -> “by the government’s”

    Ch 89: “drop it on on the BuSuR” -> “drop it on the BuSuR”

    Ch 95: “climb the gravel, and and” -> “climb the gravel, and”

    Ch 97: “mules further back back” -> “mules further back”

    Ch 98: “How many many expats” -> “How many expats”

    Ch 98: “galloping down the the slope” -> “galloping down the slope”

    Ch 110: “Blue looked at at John” -> “Blue looked at John”

    Ch 114: “with his his own suggestion” -> “with his own suggestion”

    == Causes of Separation ==

    Ch 4: “didn’t mean that that fighting” -> “didn’t mean that fighting”

    Ch 12: “lost someone in the the” -> “lost someone in the”

    Ch 20: “she could be the the” -> “she could be the”

    Ch 32: “you admit that that there are” -> “you admit that there are”

    Ch 43: “putting this next task off off” -> “putting this next task off”

    Ch 49: “Hugh knew felt the the blood drain” -> “Hugh felt the blood drain” (2 deletions)

    Ch 50: “Selena had had learned” -> “Selena had learned”

    Ch 51: “out of of the kill” -> “out of the kill”

    Ch 53: “queuing up for the the” -> “queuing up for the”

    Ch 58: “A century ago ago” -> “A century ago”

    Ch 60: “But it it looks like” -> “But it looks like”

    Ch 64: “it is you you” -> “it is you”

    Ch 75: “the navigation screen screen” -> “the navigation screen”

    Ch 78: “this was the the best” -> “this was the best”

    Ch 80: “and and is only done” -> “and is only done”

    Ch 83: “across the the lunar” -> “across the lunar”

    Ch 84: “not not gonna fall” -> “not gonna fall”

    Ch 89: “you like like hell” -> “you look like hell”

    Ch 91: “for another another” -> “for another”

    Ch 92: “paced around around” -> “paced around”

    Ch 92: “we’ll have have something” -> “we’ll have something”

    Ch 95: “going to to mold” -> “going to mold”

    Ch 103: “almost all of it it” -> “almost all of it”

    Ch 103: “email that had had been” -> “email that had been”

    Ch 107: “move the the glass” -> “move the glass”

    Ch 107: “talking about about” -> “talking about”

    Ch 110: “infantry in in” -> “infantry in”

    Ch 113: “There was was less” -> “There was less”

    Ch 123: “into the the front” -> “into the front”

    Ch 126: “hair, and and dragged” -> “hair, and dragged”

    Ch 132: “log in in and” -> “log in and”

    Ch 133: “adjusting the the windage” -> “adjusting the windage”

    Ch 133: “gotten around around” -> “gotten around”

    Ch 143: “say that that I” -> “say that I”

    Ch 157: “track down down” -> “track down”

    Ch 158: “and and bent forward” -> “and bent forward”

    Ch 160: “in a a cloud” -> “in a cloud”

    Ch 169: “the the colony” -> “the colony”

    Ch 176: “and and the magma” -> “and the magma”

    Ch 178: “for for making” -> “for making”

    Ch 180: “the the tons” -> “the tons”

    Ch 180: “that that Gamma” -> “that Gamma”

    Ch 183: “the the flood” -> “the flood”

    Ch 185: “bands around around” -> “bands around”

    Ch 189: “savoring the the” -> “savoring the”

    Ch 191: “a lot of of us” -> “a lot of us”

    Ch 192: “the the genesis” -> “the genesis”

  18. Larry says:

    == Causes of Separation ==

    Ch 12: “Just take the third left” Later description makes it seem like this should be “first left” or “next left”

    Ch 12: “oncoming traffic skidded to a half” -> “oncoming traffic skidded to a halt”

  19. Larry says:

    == Causes of Separation ==

    Dramatis Personae: “Rob Wehramnn” -> “Rob Wehrmann”

    Dramatis Personae: “Kathrine Dycus – CEO, Airtight Suits” listed twice

    Ch 13: “the trucks’ motor whined.” -> “the truck’s motor whined.”

    Ch 16: “RMR Highway level five”: “five” formatted differently than in other chapters. Also “Campus of Saint Joseph of Cupertino, level three” with “three”

    Ch 20: “What the if” -> “What if the”

    Ch 21: “Leroy waived it away” -> “Leroy waved it away”

    Ch 25: “He searched found a switch” -> “He found a switch”? or “searched and found”?

    Ch 27: “Job and Melanie” -> “Jacob and Melanie”

    Ch 28: “Mr Hollins” -> “Mr. Hollins” (3 places)

    Ch 28: “not just your firm but you life” -> “not just your firm but your life”

    Ch 29: “Mike waived her away.” -> “Mike waved her away.”

    Ch 32: “Over the last week that the CEOs” -> “Over the last week that the CEOs”

    Ch 51: “Abroo’s paw” -> “Aabroo’s paw”

    Ch: 51: “seen Abroo” -> “seen Aabroo”

    Not necessarily a bug:

    Ch 31: “care what a bunch of rebels on the moon?’” perhaps “care about” or sentence trails off with “…”?

  20. Andy Cleary says:

    Chapter 8, POTE: “I’m saying that we I need real troops” -> “I’m saying that I need real troops”

  21. Andy Cleary says:

    Chapter 17 “Rex was also been the one” -> “Rex had also been the one”

  22. Andy Cleary says:

    Chapter 17: “John titled his head back” -> “John tilted his head back”
    Chapter 17: “we don’t even know if we there are any air scrubbers” – “we don’t even know if there are any air scrubbers”

    [Also, and this isn’t really a typo, but in that section there is some serious head-jumping going on that is distracting… At one point, we seem to be in Blue’s head “Blue had no idea if this was the first time…”, and then we’re in John’s “John thought for a moment”, and then back to Blue… I guess it’s supposed to be Blue’s perspective, but I’d probably change the “John thought for a moment” to make that more clear. And then “John was patient – more patient than Blue would be”. Very subtle I admit.]

  23. HW says:

    More “bug” than “typo”
    After converting to mobi in the recommended software, black background (for nighttime reading) does not work. I assume this is conversion software issue.

    One more reason to get it officially published, so kindle readers can enjoy “natively!”

  24. Travis J I Corcoran says:

    @ENDERthe3RD notes that printing on spine of hardcovers UNDER dust jacket is wrong

  25. Ed Longwell says:

    Chapter 11 first paragraph references a quesadilla. 7th paragraph references a burrito. Burrito != quesadilla.

  26. Lowell says:

    (Will pass over the ones that others caught so far, but apologies if I repeat any)

    Team:

    * right at the beginning, roughly loc 49 on kindle — “He turned back to John” should be “He turned back to DOUG”.

    * right after that, “Sargent” should be “Sergeant”

    * Paragraph beginning with “by the time the sound” should have a comma after “later”

    For continuity (to avoid retconning and to slim the char cast), would it make sense to replace Samuel with Matt Dewitt?

    * roughly loc 187 on kindle, “post docs” should either be one word or hyphenated. (It’s hyphenated later on in at least 2 instances)

    * Duncan’s role/tone/demeanor seems much more like that of Rex (especially given that they’re puppies at this point, and should be even more childlike), given a re-read in view of Causes. Similarly, “Cody” might be a better fit for Duncan, and then these interactions with John at least give a basis for why the 4 specific dogs who are traveling with John in Causes are doing so — they’ve had specific interactions with him before.

    * Again, for continuity, shouldn’t we see the referred-to “Nick” somewhere in Causes or Powers (he may be in Powers, but I’m not yet through it)

    * roughly loc 246 “John turned to Nick” should be “John turned to JULIO”

    * roughly loc 336 “terrazzo floor” seems odd/jarring/off-tone.

    * roughly loc 366, “With a crash” isn’t but should be followed by a comma

    * roughly loc 336, “smashed it’s battering ram” should be “smashed ITS battering ram”

    * roughly loc 373 “assaulting further into the complex” seems awkward/odd grammar

    * roughly loc 373 “forced himself to breath” should be “forced himself to breathE”

    * “dog[s]/Dog[s]” capitalized inconsistently between this and Causes/Powers

    * Doug/Dog is a bit close, spelling-wise, maybe consider renaming the character (as he doesn’t reappear) just to make the clarity a bit better

    * roughly loc 388 “That’s gamma” should be capital-G “Gamma”.

    * roughly loc 409, after “blood spilling from his mouth” there’s a sentence fragment (“Next to him”) that shouldn’t be there, looks like it was repeated accidentally.

    * roughly loc 416 — “an orange flash” — Max is described as red, not orange; by contrast, Blue is described as having some orange markings.

    * roughly loc 423, sentence beginning “He was dead where he stood,” given the previous 2 sentences has “his” referring to John, consider replacing that first “He” with “The cop” or “The HomeSec Cop” for clarity for the subsequent pronouns to refer back to. Similar issues (but not as severe) with subsequent paragraph and pronouns referring to both John and the shot cops.

    * roughly loc 444 “emplace” seems a bit awkward, instead of “place”.

    * roughly loc 451 “John slammed one door, shut, then the other” — first comma should be removed.

    * roughly loc 459 “then the crumpled fell off the hood of the truck” — noun missing after “crumpled”

    * roughly loc 467 “gun fire” should be one word

    * roughly loc 473 “seat-belt” should be one word or two words, not hyphenated (least common).

    * roughly loc 473 “and then, they were on the highway” — delete comma

    * roughly loc 502 “an crackling explosion” should be “A crackling explosion”

    * roughly loc 502 “the world went dark” should be “The world went dark” (capitalization) to be consistent with the subsequent sentences.

    * roughly loc 510 “window sill” should be one word.

    Causes:
    Chapter 21 — “Bosphoros” should be “BosphorUs” or “Bosporus” depending on the transliteration.

    Chapter 54, header (and some others) — capitalization — “bridge of AFS The wookkiee” should have the B and W capitalized, consider making the “T” lowercase.

    Chapter 67 — “Las Ang-” Mark snorted. Should be “LOs Ang-”

    Chapter 71 — “armorered. And cut a check” — should be “armorED”.

    Chapter 74 — “engineering Dogs” should be “engineerED Dogs”.

    “Icarcus” in multiple chapter headings already caught.

    Chapter 84 — “your second cousin is destined to the throne” — awkward phrasing. Seems like a verb is missing between “to” and “the”.

    Chapter 92 — “and Rex. They remembered.” That “Rex” should be “Max”.

    Chapter 98 — “bolder, and saw a man on all fours.” That “bolder” should be “boUlder”.

    Chapter 102. — “Rex was dead. His friend. His pack-mate. **His younger brother.**” — “younger brother” is not consistent unless it’s speaking purely metaphorically, as Rex is G2 and Max/Blue are G1, and this is not from Duncan’s POV. I’d suggest replacing it with “nephew”.

    Chapter 111 — “REMF mother fuckers!” is literally redundant, but perhaps that’s intentional.

    Bit in Chapter 121 referring to Haig’s “district” should have already been caught — she’s a Senatrix, not a rep.

  27. Andy Cleary says:

    Doing this from memory, but at about the 30% mark, when the government is in conflict with the moonfolk and have a confrontation over the AG ships, and shoot them every 30 seconds, it is described that the remaining crew take their one dead comrade with them, but two comrades were actually shot.

  28. Larry says:

    == Causes of Separation ==

    Ch 32: “Over the last week that the CEOs” -> “Over the last week the CEOs” (mentioned in my previous comment but with no correction)

    Ch 34: “concilliatory” -> “conciliatory”

    Ch 35: “Board Room Group” -> “Boardroom Group”

    Ch 36: “we’ll never enough people” -> “we’ll never have enough people”

    Ch 38: video playback starting with “Louisa’s voice:” is larger than other text.

    Ch 43: “he could keep the believe that” -> “he could keep the belief that”

    Ch 44: “Alan” -> “Allan”

    Ch 47: “Carrie Ann” -> “Carrie-Ann” 2 places.

  29. Larry says:

    == Causes of Separation ==

    Hardcover inside flap: “they need slap down the lunar expats” -> “they need to slap down the lunar expats”

    Printed novel: Limited Edition Hardcover section has printing flaw. (Does not affect Powers)

    Printed novel: Front matter should have blank page xiv added so Ch 1 starts on p. 1

    Ch 50: “from everyone in her district” -> “from everyone in her state”

    Ch 51: “He’s seen the pop-science” -> “He’d seen the pop-science”

    Ch 53: “he’d always been pushed himself” -> “he’d always pushed himself”

    Ch 54: “bonafides” -> “bona fides” seems more common although you’re the man with the OED.

    Ch 54: “in gravel boat number were not” -> “in gravel boat number one were not”?

    Ch 54: “the drive breaking the ship to a crawl” -> “the drive braking the ship to a crawl”

    Ch 54: “atmosphere was here was” -> “atmosphere here was”

    Ch 54, 56, 58: character name alternates between Lummus and Lumus.

    Ch 57: “punishing in confined stairwell” -> “punishing in the confined stairwell”

    Ch 58: “into an wall” -> “into a wall”

    Ch 58: He checked column” -> “He checked the column”

    Ch 58: “wasn’t stop” -> “wasn’t stopping”

    Ch 58: “left most” -> “leftmost”

    Ch 60: “pulled the chains taught” -> “pulled the chains taut”

    Ch 60: “stared the wallscreen” -> “stared at the wallscreen”

    Ch 60: “Pem nodded” -> “Prem nodded”

    Ch 60: “Yes, it is the scary” -> “Yes, it is scary” (could be error by character)

    Ch 60: “too late too worry now” -> “too late to worry now”

    Ch 61: “part way” perhaps “partway” is more common?

    Ch 63: “discomforted” perhaps “discomfited” fits better? See also Ch 37 of Powers

  30. Larry says:

    == Causes of Separation ==

    Hardcover inside flap: describes Powers of the Earth in two places rather than Causes of Separation

    Ch 66: “Sheila, a blond” -> “Sheila, a blonde” similar in Ch 88

    Ch 66: “before desert was served” -> “before dessert was served”

    Ch 69: “The usual propaganda rags a variety of videos” seems to be missing a verb after “rags”

    Ch 69: “involuntarilly” -> “involuntarily”

    Ch 70: “outside the Situation room” -> “outside the Situation Room” (upper case)

    Ch 70: “He’s seen people charged” -> “He’d seen people charged”

    Ch 80: “the Aristillus Ideology’ or ‘the Aristillus disease” -> Ideology capitalized but disease isn’t.

    Ch 80: “We are told that these enhanced interrogations are done only in ‘ticking time bomb’ scenarios, with warrants, with doctors” -> This fragment repeats what was said a paragraph earlier

    Ch 80: “nor not a laser attack” -> “nor a laser attack”

    Ch 85: “her pony tail” -> “her ponytail”

    Not necessarily a bug:

    Ch 46: The Prem Pradeep character in Ch 46, 60, etc. is interleaved with the Prem Rohit character in Ch 58, 67. Might be easier to follow if one or the other were renamed.

    Ch 72: this is the first mention of PK meaning Peace Keeper. Perhaps consider mentioning it somewhere in Powers?

    Ch 81: “The list had never been full, even once before.” Perhaps “not even once before.”?

  31. Lowell says:

    Causes — Ch. 26 — DC Minute Anchors are “Jacob and MelaINe” and then later on in the paragraph they are “Job and MelaNIe”.

  32. Lowell says:

    Causes — Ch. 27 “Darren rolled those words over. ‘What do you mean, “full control”?'”

    The quotation doesn’t work there. What he’s quoting from was “a full amnesty and continued control.”

  33. Lowell says:

    Causes, Ch. 35 “People are guessing it’s the Board Room Group, though.” –> “Boardroom”, one word.

  34. Larry says:

    == Powers of the Earth ==

    Ch 6: unlike every other chapter subheading n this book, this don’t mention “2064:”

    Ch 45: unlike every other chapter in this book, this doesn’t contain a chapter subheading

    Ch 71, 81: “2064” -> “2064:”

    Ch 82: “2063,” -> “2064:”

    == Causes of Separation ==

    Ch 5: unlike every other chapter I’ve read so far in this book, this doesn’t contain a chapter subheading

    Ch 84: “Why the hell was taking so long” -> “Why the hell was it taking so long”

    Ch 90: “rubbed the grit of out his eyes” -> “rubbed the grit out of his eyes”

    Ch 92: “to a schedule for the software schedule” -> “to a schedule for the software”

    Ch 92: “There’s going to have a battle here” -> “There’s going to be a battle here”

    Ch 95: “and 02 levels” -> change numerals “02” to letter O subscript 2

    Ch 95: “ships out the sky” -> “ships out of the sky”

    Ch 96: “He could heard Bishop Flynn” -> “He could hear Bishop Flynn”

    Ch 100, 102: “2064: Nevada, US, Earth” other chapter subheadings are of the form “State, Earth”.

    Might not be a bug

    Ch 85: “dangling, annoying,” -> “dangling, annoyingly”?

    Ch 98: game units called were-creatures, then were-beasts, then werebears. Could certainly be intentional.

  35. Lowell says:

    Causes (again, I wasn’t doing a close read, this is just what jumped out at me):

    Ch. 46: “I would never trust the lives of MY OUR children to a vehicle”

    Ch. 48: “eight to ninety percent drop in shipping volume.” –> eighTY

    Ch. 49 — her name is back to “MelaINe” instead of “MelaNIe”

    Ch. 49 — “caffeinated, carbonated lime soda” — isn’t “carbonated . . . soda” redundant?

    Ch. 54 — “the embedded systems in gravel boat number were not programmed” –> gravel boat number ONE

    Ch. 58 — “from the building wasn’t stop.” –> “wasn’t stoppING”

    Ch. 59 — “immediately a Nigerian men in jeans and a polo shirt slapped Louisa.” –> “a Nigerian MAN”

    Ch. 61 — “just a petit bourgeoisie version of the police state” — spelling-wise, it should be “petitE bourgeoisie” but bourgeoisie is a noun, so grammatically it should be “petit bourgeois”. Also, French is a stupid fucking language for stupid people.

    Ch. 72 — “Ashoke hoped . . . ” –> “ASHOK hoped”

    Ch. 84 — “three minutes out. Breath. Three minutes was more than enough time . . .” — I think “Breath” should be “Breathe” here, just the noun sounds odd and jarring.

    Ch. 92 — “indicating all or Aristillus” –> “indicating all OF Aristillus”

    Ch. 112 — “reached the jersey barriers in seconds.” — Capital-J “Jersey” to be consistent with how you use it in The Team and later in this chapter (or make them all lower case, but don’t vary it)

    Ch. 118 — “the rovers weren’t following hismen” –> “weren’t following HIS MEN”

    Ch. 119 — towards the end, he’s referred to as “Reimmer” twice instead of “Reimmers”

    Ch. 148 — “sign saying ‘Rebeca’s favorites'” –> “RebeCCa’s Favorites”

    Ch. 155, final sentence is just “How much worse can it?” — you need a verb (i.e., “GET”)

    Chs. 156, 165 — chapter headers, “feedlot” is the first non-numerical word, should be capitalized to Feedlot

    Ch. 165 — “Lemons followed the major and his scouts” –> “LeMMons”

    Chapter 176 — your paleontology timeline is WAY off. “Animals evolved. Life reached a height, of sorts, as ninety- ton brachiosauruses walked across land that would later be North America and Africa. . . . Thus was the crater Aristillus born, ***1.3 billion years before humanity came into existence*** . . . “a billion years passed, dinosaurs died off and mammals rose.” No. Just no. Brachiosaurus lives in the late Jurassic, about 154 MYA, so you’re off by an order of magnitude in implying that brachiosaurii were walking around when the crater was made. Even after that billion years passed, brachiosaurus 300 MYA, brachiosaurus still wasn’t going to appear for another 150 MYA or or so — about as long as it’s now been extinct.

    By contrast, 1.3 BYA was the Ectasian period of the mesoproterozoic era. We didn’t have dinosaurs, but we had just gotten multi-cellular organisms who had just figured out sexual reproduction in the form of some red algae. — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ectasian

    — Also, should be no space between “ninety-” and “ton”

    Ch. 185 – “Yes. It’s barbaric. *T* is what I was looking for.” –> “T” should be “That”
    — Father Alex shrugged, as if to say, “the words are coming” –> capitalization “**The** words are coming”

    Ch. 192 (afterword)
    — “it’s a parallel a line” — non-grammatical, preposition missing
    — “consciously fashioned John and the **Dog’s** adventures” –> ” Dogs’ ”
    — When using middle initials, you are inconsistent as to whether there is a period (e.g., Eric S Raymond, James C Scott’s, Timothy C May); contra “Albert O. Hirschman”

    You really need to seek out a partial refund of those 2 different copy-editing fees you paid, my friend.

  36. Larry says:

    == Powers of the Earth ==

    Ch 81: “take an side tunnel exit.” -> “take a side tunnel exit.”

    Ch 121: “We we will not be the first” -> “We will not be the first”

    Ch 121: “At an temporary impasse” -> “At a temporary impasse”

    == Causes of Separation ==

    Ch 27: “found an chair” -> “found a chair”

    Ch 47: “an collective intake of breath” -> “a collective intake of breath”

    Ch 51/135: “reenforced” -> “reinforced”

    Ch 105: “From the Sun Tzu” -> “From Sun Tzu” ?

    Ch 107: “When when” -> “When”

    Ch 115: “The warnings of from her helmet” -> “The warnings from her helmet”

    Ch 118: “when one the massive” -> “when one of the massive”

    Ch 119: “that had lead to this call” -> “that had led to this call”

    Ch 121: “feed lot #22” -> “feedlot #22” to match chapter subheading

    Ch 133: “would tell us if there peakers in this area.” -> “would tell us if there were peakers in this area.”

    Ch 134/137: “level ???” Was this intended to be ambiguous?

    Ch 134: “one of his boots would free of the roadbed” -> “one of his boots would come free of the roadbed”? Not sure what word was intended.

    Ch 142: “They’d even followed him even here” -> “They’d even followed him here”

    Ch 152: “Reimmer nodded” -> “Reimmers nodded” (Lowell noted similar in another chapter)

    Ch 155: “At you word, sir.” -> “At your word, sir.”?

    Ch 157: “up …and the surface” Inconsistent spacing around ellipses. This instance has space before. Other places use space after. Still others have no spaces.

    Ch 161: “Chapter 161” In this and many other chapters the markup seems incorrect. On two readers, the final ‘1’ looks different than the initial ‘1’ .

    Ch 165: “TBM breaching bridge” -> Ch 155 mentions “TBM broaching bridge”. The next sentence mentions “broaching tunnel” and I wasn’t able to visualize what that referred to.

    Ch 167: “number 6” -> Ch 108 says Raptor #3 crashed

    Ch 170: “an skull-piercing shriek” -> “a skull-piercing shriek”

    Ch 173: “rightnow” -> “right now”

    Ch 180: “We’ve go enough here to all we need for decades” -> “We’ve got enough here for decades”

    Ch 185: “he stumbled, the recovered” -> “he stumbled, then recovered”

    Ch 186-187: “2066:” -> I don’t think the year makes sense given the stated distances. Unless the distances are wrong. But then “new president” seems more appropriate for 2065?

    Ch 189: “the sun peeking out over white of the snowcaps” -> “the sun peeking out over the white of the snowcaps”?

    Afterward: “first encountered in when reading about” -> “first encountered when reading about”

    Afterward: “April 19th, 1776” not sure of this reference. Did you mean 1775?

    Afterward: “Wookie” spelled differently. Also the Star Wars character spelled “Wookiee” and not “Wookkiee” as in these stories.

    Might not be a bug

    Ch 107: “What your type don’t understand” -> “doesn’t” seems better but I’m not sure.

    Ch 115: “designed to be coupled tight” -> “designed to be coupled tightly”?

    Ch 166: “were torn loose and were thrown across” perhaps delete the second “were”?

    Throughout the two novels and The Team, characters lick, purse, or pinch their lips at least 75 times.

    The precise title of the first novel seems to be “The Powers of the Earth” but the cover and certain other places say “Powers of the Earth”. I am not sure if this is typical.

  37. Larry says:

    The similar terms “jury-rigged” and “jerry-rigged” each appear in the novels. I’m not sure if there’s a distinction intended, but if not perhaps consider standardizing on one or the other.

  38. Larry says:

    == Powers of the Earth ==

    Dramatis Personae: “Kathrine Dycus – CEO, Airtight Suits” -> “Katherine Dycus – CEO, Airtight Suits”

    Dramatis Personae: Katherine Dycus listed twice (previously mentioned this error for “Causes of Separation”)

    Ch 2: “California Earthquake Relief” -> maybe “California earthquake relief bill” and similar lower case in next paragraph?

    Ch 10: “talk about how the registries works” -> “talk about how the registry works” or “talk about how registries work”?

    Ch 12: “Lina gave him a disappointed look” -> “Linda gave him a disappointed look”

    Ch 26: “The overhead disneys and atmospherics” -> “displays”?

    Ch 121: “natural disasters like the California Earthquake” -> “natural disasters like the California earthquake” (unless upper case was intentional)

    == Causes of Separation ==

    Dramatis Personae: “Kathrine Dycus – CEO, Airtight Suits” -> “Katherine Dycus – CEO, Airtight Suits”

    Ch 20/24/95: “Kathrine Dycus” -> “Katherine Dycus”

  39. Larry says:

    == Powers of the Earth ==

    Ch 112: “anchor lines snapped taught” -> “anchor lines snapped taut”

    == Causes of Separation ==

    Ch 6: “his suit stiffened and grew taught” -> “his suit stiffened and grew taut”

    Ch 8: “this time Connors was looking” -> “this time Conner was looking”

    Ch 8: “Connor blinked in shock” -> “Conner blinked in shock”

    Ch 8: “Major Connor grinned stupidly” -> “Major Conner grinned stupidly”

    Ch 8: “Major Connor looked down” -> “Major Conner looked down”

    Ch 12: “He’d know they were incompetent” -> “He’d known they were incompetent”

    Ch 143: “with loud CRUMPs” -> other usages use “crump(s)” in lower case

    Not necessarily a bug

    Ch 8: “It wasn’t like he was an early explorer, or anything,” -> remove commas? Usually these books omit commas where other writers might include them.

    Ch 12: “turn into a blood bath” -> “bloodbath” is more commonly used

  40. drethelin says:

    Causes of Seperation
    Chapter 58 page 233: the proper procedure to bust open a door is not to ram your shoulder into it like usually depicted on tv but to kick as close to the lock with your foot as possible. eg: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Qu8iHkBHGg

  41. Larry says:

    == The Powers of the Earth (Kindle edition, 11/2017) ==

    Ch 67: “more people scrubbing toilets that.” -> “more people scrubbing toilets than that.” (Note: was changed from “that that” after Kickstarter edition.)

    Ch 74: “Konstantinov Crater, Lunar Nearside” -> “Konstantinov Crater, Lunar Farside”

    Ch 89: “Icarcus Crater, Lunar Nearside” -> “Icarus Crater, Lunar Farside” (2 typos)

    Ch 92: “Icarcus Crater” -> “Icarus Crater”

    Ch 94: “Zhukovskiy Crater, Lunar Nearside” -> “Zhukovskiy Crater, Lunar Farside” also chapters 95, 98, 102, 105, 107, 109, 110, 112, 114

    Ch 107: “we don’t walk where the the chain guns can see us.” -> “we don’t walk where the chain guns can see us.”

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