Beginning the rewrite
I’m now in day two of the rewrite. I finally have a handle on how big of a task this is going to be. I think I’m going to be working hard to get it done before the end of the year.
Here’s the task list I’ve generated (so far!):
1) outline chapters 1-91
2) add timestamps to chapters (move to 2064 presidential elections, not midterms)
3) plothole: Write Darcy into plot earlier
4) plothole: need to work Neil Aaronson ( registry service ) and Leroy Fournier (Prime Construction) into middle of book
5) write character sheets
6) do X passes through (1 per character) and work in character elements
* Mike
* Darcy
* Leroy
* Kevin – big problem – make him much better!!
* Leroy Fournier, Neil Aaronson – disambiguate!!
* Dogs
7) plothole: actual character development with the dogs back in the lunar base after first assault fails (from Dog POV ?)
8) plothole: around chapter 80, 81 – Dogs should not be with John, they should be somewhere with telecom access, should be the ones to tell Olesgun re: wave 2
9) plothole: around chapter 80, 81 – Mike already knows John and Dogs – recall the radar signature of the Vulture / “incoming nuke?” issue
10) plothole: Leroy Fournier, Neil Aaronson – disambiguate!!
11) plothole: Hollins and his letters of marquis
12) name cleanup: leader of snatch team changes names: is “Reimers” in 06_20, but changes to “MAJOR Jason Ryan” later on.
13) name cleanup: Dewitt’s first name? We’ve got Matthew in some places, Kirk in others.o
14) rewrite beginning to have more of a hook
15) add “sense” data throughout entire book: smells, sights, sounds,
etc.
16) proofread
What am I forgetting?
About The Author
Just a little thing, but I’m curious what happened to the Indian guy who invented the antigravity thing in the first place. A *little* more exposition on how the colony first started and its early years might be fun as well, if it can be snuck in without a big info scene.
More importantly, the “John was the guy left behind” arc. He’s one of your most sympathetic characters I think – I remember the dogs talking about planning memorial services for him and Blue, but I don’t think they happened “on camera” – is there a way to address that without slowing down the plot?
What Jennifer said about “John the Dog guy”.
Also – I recall thinking that his soldierly skills at the crater – when he snuck up behind the PKs – seemed to come out of nowhere. Before that he was just this guy out for a stroll around the moon with Dogs. Could be that I missed a reference to his former profession due to the episodic nature of reading the book.
Although in my experience, most guys who did amazing things in uniform look like everybody else. Sometimes they’re more physically fit than their peers, but that’s it. A guy upstairs at work was Force Recon in Vietnam and … he looks like anyone’s grampa, now.
This will probably be addressed when you do character passes, but I wanted to mention it.
umm, Letters of Marque??
Starting to read through the blog now that I’ve read the draft and given draft feedback 🙂
Re 15: Careful of “sense” data overload. Don’t suddenly go all Tom Bombadil on us 😉